Tea: the secret formula

There is a very simple principle to the making of tea and it’s this : to get the proper flavour of tea, the water has to be boiling (not boiled) when it hits the tea leaves. If it’s merely hot then the tea will be insipid. That’s why we warm the teapot first (so as not to cause the boiling water to cool down too fast as it hits the pot). 

And that’s why the regrettable restaurant habit of bringing a teacup, a tea bag and a pot of hot water to the table is merely the perfect way of making a thin, pale, watery cup of tea that nobody in their right mind would want to drink, much less pay for.The best advice I can give to a novice tea-maker is this: go to the supermarket and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea. Go back to your kitchen and boil a kettle of water. While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed packet and sniff. Careful - you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal.

When the kettle has boiled, pour a little water into a tea pot, swirl it around and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot (If I was really trying to lead you into the paths of righteousness I would tell you to use loose tea leaves rather than bags, but let’s just take this in easy stages).

Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn’t have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Let them do what they like. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk then it’s probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea. If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea you will scald the milk.

If you think you will prefer it with lemon, then leave out the milk and add a slice of lemon.

Drink it.

(Don't even think of putting sugar in it! According to Henry Fielding, " … scandal is the best sweetener of tea" – he was right, there is nothing like a good gossip over the teacups.)

With input from 
Douglas Adams
d.11 May 2001, RIP